JOKES, JOKES, AND MORE JOKES - HAVE SOME FUN.!!

Keep em coming hobs!

Two women were playing golf. One of them teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly for a men’s foursome on the next hole. Before she could holler the ball jumped and hit one of the men hard. He dropped and immediately put his hands between his legs and rolled on the ground in agony. The woman quickly drove over, jumped out of the cart and begged him to forgive her. She explained that she was a Physical Therapist and that she could help him with the pain. He told her that it was okay but kept his hands between his legs as he curled up in a fetal position, grimacing and moaning. She continued to insist and he finally agreed to allow her to help.  She gently rolled him onto his back and placed his hands by his side. She loosened his belt and gently placed her hands inside his pants and started massaging him. A couple of minutes later he exploded in his pants. She smiled and shyly asked him how he felt. He replied…. “That feels wonderful. But I still think I’m going to need a doctor for my broken thumb.!!”

A young lady was getting married. Being an Italian and well versed in 'appropriate' church behavior, she was a virgin. After the ceremony she and her husband, Tony, went home to Maria's house where she lived with her mother and father. Maria asked her mother what to expect. Her mother said, "Don't worry Maria, just go upstairs. Tony is a good man and he'll take care of you." Maria went upstairs and found Tony taking off his shirt. Maria ran back down to her mother and said, "Mama, Mama, Tony has a big, strong hairy chest." Her mother said, "Don't worry Maria. All good men have hairy chests. Go back upstairs and Tony will take good care of you. I'll stay down here and make the pasta." Maria went back to Tony. She found him taking off his pants and noticed his long hairy ..... legs. She ran back down to her mother and said, "Mama, Mama, Tony has long hairy legs." Her mother said, "Don't worry, Maria. All good men have hairy legs. Go back upstairs and Tony will take good care of you." So Maria went back upstairs to Tony. She found him taking off his shoes and socks. She noticed he had lost three toes on one foot. Maria ran back downstairs to her mother. She was crying and said, "Mama, Mama, Tony has only one foot and a half." Her mother said, "Maria, don't worry. You stay down here and stir the pasta. I'll take care of this.!!"

A man was sitting in a bar contemplating the rest of his evening. He wasn't sure about his chances but was hoping to find some female companionship. It was a pretty quiet evening, but before too long a good looking woman came in and walked over next to him. She smiled and he instantly thought that she was very attractive for her age. He ordered her a drink and they sat quietly talking for a few minutes before she asked him "How old do you think I am.?" Being careful, he said "Well, I would guess you are in your early forties." She laughed, and then whispered to him, "I'm 62 !!" After a couple more drinks, she asked him, "Have you ever had a "Sportsman's Double"??"  Not knowing what she meant, he replied, "No I haven't. I'm sure I would have remembered." She said, "It's a 3-way with a mother and her daughter." He smiled, and thought that this good-looking woman would probably have a beautiful daughter. He told her, "That sounds like a wonderful experience." She nodded, took him by the arm and led him from the bar. When they arrived at her house they entered and stood looking around at the beautiful home. Then she took his hand and started walking up the stairs. She giggled a little, asked him if he was ready, then said, .... "Wait until you meet my mom.!!"